פרשת בהר – בחקותי
לא תונו איש את עמיתו ויראת מאלקיך | כ"ה, י"ז
Do not harass one another, and you shall have fear of your G-d
In this posuk the Torah commands the Jewish People to be careful not to say anything to another Jew that will cause him emotional pain. In fact, the Chazon Ish, Rav Avrohom Yeshaya Karelitz zt”l used to advise parents not to give their children unusual or strange sounding names which others may make fun of, so that the children should not feel pain or suffer from it when they get older.
Since verbal abuse can cause so much suffering, much care must be taken not to say things to people that will hurt their feelings. The more sensitive someone is the greater care we must take when speaking to him that we do not cause him pain with our words.
Reb Shlomo Kluger zt”l commented that some people are careless with the feelings of others. They believe they only have to consider mitzvos בין אדם למקום - involving man’s obligation to the Almighty.
But the truth is that if a person is not careful with his obligations to his fellow man and hurts others with his words, he will eventually become careless with the mitzvos between man and the Almighty.
This same concept is found in the words of Chazal: כל הכופר בטובתו של חבירו סופו שיכפור בטובתו של הקב"ה. וכל המודה בטובתו של חבירו סופו שיודה בטובתו של הקב"ה “Whoever denies the favor of a friend, in the end will come to deny the favors of Hashem.
And whoever is grateful for the favor of his friend, in the end will be grateful for the favors of Hashem.”
Therefore, in the same posuk that the Torah warns against hurting the feelings of others, the Torah adds “and you shall fear the Almighty.” Failure to observe the first half of the posuk will lead to failure to observe the latter half of the posuk.
Could there be a more vital lesson to teach then to be sensitive to the feelings of others? When our students observe how we speak to them and to adults, delicately and sensitively, we impart this valuable lesson.
About the Author: Rabbi Yisroel Meir Rubinfeld
Rabbi Rubinfeld has been in the field of Torah education for over 3 decades and serves as an Executive School Consultant for Torah Umesorah. He provides an array of services to schools across North America, including teacher and principal mentorship, school and curricula evaluations, professional development and parent education.
Rabbi Rubinfeld's expertise includes classroom management and discipline, effective instruction, bullying, cultivating sensitivity in the classroom, impulse disorders (such as ADHD and ODD), and balancing the educational needs of mainstream and special needs children in the classroom.
Rabbi Rubinfeld is the also the founder and director of Torah Umesorah's Lilmod U'Lilamed department which provides professional development for teachers and principals throughout the year.
Rabbi Rubinfeld is a talmid of the distinguished Yeshivos of Yeshiva Rabbi Chaim Berlin, the Mirrer Yeshiva in Yerushalayim and Bais Medrash Govoha in Lakewood.